The idea was mine. “Nobody ever hits restaurants. Bars, liquor stores, gas stations, sure. Why not restaurants?”
Jacks, a burger and fish joint, but nice. I cased it good. Lots of cash transactions, not much staff. Right next to the culvert, so we could get away on the dirt bikes.
They closed at one, so fifteen minutes after I walked into the front, Davy into the back, shotguns ready. In and out.
But it didn’t go like that.
“That Mexican dishwasher is playing dumb,” Davy said. “You understand plenty good, you sonofabitch. ” And Davy shot him full in the chest.
You told your story fluently and well. Brutal ending.
Loved the build up in this story. Harrowing ending.
Different
Guess he forgot the right ending!
Cleverly writte, I could almost see it happening!
Click to read my FriFic tale!
Something gone wrong terribly. Poor Mexican dish washer gave his life for nothing.
Oh no!
But then well laid plans often have a way of going awry!
Vivid and an unusual take on the prompt.
There is a kind of tragic comedy to this; who is the dumbest I wonder.
Oh, what a shock! I didn’t see it coming.
Great action and good scrappy voice. That surprising last paragraph leaves me shaking my head.
It is a far too common outcome of the perfect plan. Nicely done.