The men in the house are speaking Spanish as they move from room to room.
We’re hiding in the bedroom closet. I can hear Jeff in my head. You should have listened to me. You should have been prepared. I’d laughed at him. A panic room. That sort of idea was why we couldn’t stay married. Jeff, always suspicious, even paranoid. His “go bag,” his guns, his three days of emergency food. Ready for anything. I couldn’t take it.
The men are coming upstairs. Janey starts squirming on my lap, this game no longer fun.
I wish Jeff was here.
Yikes, woulda coulda shoulda. With all the vision Jeff has, I hope he shows up and saves the day.
Intense stuff.
I remember a news story from a year or two (or more) ago. A young mother of a baby had just lost her husband to cancer. A couple of near-do-wells figured he must have had lots of good pain killers and, loaded to the gills, break into her home. The Mom had a loaded shotgun and was in her bedroom with her baby. She was on the phone to 911, but the police are going to get there too late.
She yelled out at the intruders that she had a gun and would shoot if they came in. They kept coming. She asked the 911 dispatcher if she should shoot, but the dispatcher couldn’t give her that sort of permission. She could only tell the Mother to do whatever she felt she needed to do to keep herself and her baby safe.
The guys broke into the bedroom and the Mom fired, hitting the first intruder in the chest killing him. The second guy ran like a bunny. Fortunately this happened in Texas, so the Mom wasn’t charged with any crime. The guy that ran was arrested and since someone died in the commission of his felony, according to state law, he was charged for the death.
Nerve wracking story – I hope they didn’t find her!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Nice taut story. I wonder why the men were in the house, though? It’s pretty rare for burglars to target an occupied building. Is there something in Jeff’s past, I wonder?
Hope she and her kid escapes the apparently ‘upto no good’ hombres.
Oh my gosh, the tension is acute! Well done!
Although I reject this kind of story in which the character wishes he/she had “listened” when it came to vigilante acts or self-defense involving weapons – this is a well written piece. Nice job.
Randy
You skillfully built up the tension. Excellent
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Palpable tension, especially as the baby will give them away.
Well done. There’s tension.
I hope I’m never in that closet. Great write!
Don’t worry, he will barge in just in time, he always does 🙂