The first thing you must do is accept that this is your new life.
This is your only life.
Dwelling in the past, even a little, will not serve you here.
All of that is gone now.
What you see here, with us, is your life.
It will doubtless take you some time to understand this, and more time to accept it.
You will, however, accept it at some point.
We know this because many others before you have been in the same situation and almost all of them eventually accepted it.
We know this because your species is adaptable.