They’ll Never Catch Me

Jae came smiling out of Bloomingdale’s, skipped across Michigan Avenue against the light.

Jae always got like this when she shoplifted.

Jae said it was a better high than glass, even.

She reached down into her jacket and pulled out a long silk scarf embroidered with green and white birds.

“Those dumb fucks never knew what hit them!” she laughed. “I’m like a goddamned cat.”

“A scarf?”

“Hermes, baby. Look at the tag.”

“Holy shit. Five hundred bucks? You gotta be kidding.”

“Snagged it off a mannequin. I know what to look for.”

Jae spit towards the store. “Dumb fucks.”

15 thoughts on “They’ll Never Catch Me

    • There’s so much psychology behind Jae and very well done. My thoughts are is that she’s a rich brat shoplifting for a high and because she can. Hermes is pretty high class and not something your poor kid would know about. I had some friends back in the day who used to go “plant nabbing” quite regularly, despite being from wealthy families. I think they got that same sort of high from it and when money’s no object, i guess some turn to other entertainment. That’s just my theory. Any feedback? BTW I’m quite happy to push the pups off the couch if you’d like a consultation.
      xx Rowena

      • Hi Rowena. I usually don’t respond to comments on this page (it’s an alias of another regular FF contributor…I’ll leave it to you to guess 😉
        but I wanted to say that you are dead on. She is indeed a wealthy girl who is doing this for kicks. She appears in another story where her friend swaps iPads with walkaround clerks on the Mile to steal credit card information. I too have known a couple girls like this, where the behavior is indicative of deeper conflicts.

        As always, thanks for reading!

      • Hi Rowena. I usually don’t respond to comments on this page (it’s an alias of another regular FF contributor…I’ll leave it to you to guess 😉
        but I wanted to say that you are dead on. She is indeed a wealthy girl who is doing this for kicks. She appears in another story where her friend swaps iPads with walkaround clerks on the Mile to steal credit card information. I too have known a couple girls like this, where the behavior is indicative of deeper conflicts.

        As always, thanks for reading!

  1. I feel a great deal of sympathy for Jae – for which she would, of course, despise me, spit in my face and abuse me. She is a bright, feisty young woman who has gone seriously wrong. She may well have survived an abusive childhood, with the very brave strategy of drawing on her own resourcefulness, and dispensing with her parents as useless.
    Speedway Randy, you’ve written a fine story that is all the better for being written from the unconventional viewpoint of the rebel.

Whatever.