I especially like when a neighborhood has an ADP contract. Homeowners have so much trust in ADP, a company whose main product is a 911 auto-dialer that a ten-year-old can disarm in five minutes.

People also trust their dogs, like Dakota the flabrador is some kind of attack animal. I bring along a Ziploc of fentanyl-laced hamburgers and have never seen it fail.

Other tools of my trade include duct tape and a two-pound sledge head for smashing glass, a stiff putty knife, wire for jumping the alarm.

Gated communities are the easiest because nobody locks their doors.

Trust is dangerous.


Friday Fictioneers


8 thoughts on “Supermarket

  1. That’s it, we live in a burglars hooligans world whereby “people are just victims of their own stupidity”. I hate this post. Very well done for sending a message, i.e. don’t trust anyone, lock your doors. Sad. (from threefoldtwenty dotcom)

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