Hashtag Sucks


So, like, you won’t believe this shit. Seriously. My mom found a joint in my bag. It wasn’t even mine. Sufjan asked me to hold it for him.  Anyway, she had a total meltdown. Said I was “on drugs” and a bunch of other retarded bullshit. We got into it, and I went to my room.

Yesterday morning I got woken up by these two dudes in khaki who shoved me in a van and drove me to this godforsaken wasteland. They wouldn’t tell me anything. 

So I am stranded here for the duration. Outward Bound.

Fuck my life. Seriously.

13 thoughts on “Hashtag Sucks

  1. When I was in junior high, I had a friend that had to do outward bound. I think we had this exact conversation at the time (minus the Sufjan part). No kidding.

    You captured the bratty teenager voice perfectly. Great writing!