My sponsor says that times like this I need to run through my gratitude list.

1. I’m sober, which is ironic considering how many drunken spills I’ve taken and never hurt myself
2. I’m wearing my winter coat and snowpants.
3. Though they hurt like hell, I can’t actually see any bones sticking out of my leg or arm.
4. It’s Sunday, so the mailman won’t come, but it’s not a holiday weekend
5. The ice storm stopped before I fell so I at least I’m dry
6. They say dying of cold is the most painless
7. I don’t have any kids
8. Probably nobody’ll miss me